Thinking about quitting

I don't think I am cut out to play the guitar. I've had lessons twice when I was younger and each time couldn't get past the barre chords. I still can't. I've tried every suggestion and they still sound terrible. I even bought a smaller guitar but maybe I need to go smaller still. My hands are small and my pinky always rubs on other strings. But that's not the main issue. It's the barre part of it that never sounds even remotely acceptable. I've been stalled for months.

Amy,

obviously its up to you if you decided you want to quit guitar, but come up with another reason, like guitar makes you want to rob banks or something else, but don't accept that barre chords "beat" you..

There are cheats for barre chords, usually the performers you see aren't really using full barres, alot of the time, they themselves are using cheats, usually by leaving the hi E and/or the B string muted. In fact, in one of the lessons on this exact website, there is an instructer that says the exact same thing, because in a playing atomosphere, the top 2 strings (hi E and B) will have a tendenancy to "muddy" the sounds. Im not saying not to eventually learn how to barre all 5 or 6 strings so that all of the strings ring, but in the short term, focus on getting the bottom 3 or for 4 strings (E,A,D,G) to sound, and as you eventually build the strength in your hands move on to adding the B string to sound, give it a bit more time and move into the hi E. I very seldom use full barres.

Remember, guitar is a fun challenge.. if it were easy everyone would play. Barres are difficult for every player, i would expect "barre" non.(pun) You can do it, just learn them in a fashion that you can find comfort with... and don't put down that guitar.

Hi Amy,

The last gig I played was way back in 1979. I haven’t picked up my guitar until just recently. Honestly at this point I can hardly put together (3) chords. I sound terrible and am back to beginner level.

So here’s the thing. Maybe you should try and look at in another way. For me it’s not about the end goal. Sounding great, playing in a band again or even just sitting on the sofa strumming a tune if front of family & friends.

For me it’s all about the passion. I play terribly. So what! I focus on the pleasure I get from picking up my instrument. I just enjoy it no matter how bad I play.

Just let yourself go. Focus on the fun, pleasure, passion of doing the best you can at that moment. If I focused on the end goal it’d be so daunting, frustrating I too would take making music out of my life.

Sorry for such a long note. I’m hoping you stick with it. But in the end its all about you. If there is no pleasure in picking up the guitar....I’d know how you feel because I’ve regretfully been there.

Joe

Originally Posted by: jmpilo

Maybe you should try and look at in another way.

This most saliently. Time to question yourself what your real motivation is, and either harness it, ....or quit and do something else you [u]enjoy[/u] more with your time and talents?

Diplomatically says all that needs to be said.

IMV&E guitar is a [u]lengthy[/u] journey to establishing a personal high level of accomplishment, one which will always require a degree of [u]recency[/u] in the "if you don't use it you lose it" sense.

If one has a conflicting all consuming higher priority truly demanding time and energy, or isn't enjoying the actual journey that is guitar so as to be unable to maintain inherent self-motivation, do the tutorials and commit to a consistent practise schedule required to attain the eventual summit through keeping it in mental sight and visualising it with imagination, then maybe it's just not for them. There's no shame in not doing something you don't truly enjoy deep down inside. And it's near impossible to maintain mojo for the distance in any pursuit where that isn't present IMLE. Quitting because something is hard work. Well...that's more of a character issue and something for each individual to determine for his or herself.

Review and see if you [u]really want to[/u] overcome the stumbling block. The desire and motivation to sustain the long term has to come from within, and ultimately that comes from [u]the joy of the journey[/u] in anything.

As others have stated, it takes patience. You have to build strength over time. [br][br]It could also be the way you are barring the chord. If you are barring it with the flat part of your finger, try tilting it a little so the strings are sitting on the side of your finger. Also, your thumb position can help to create stability. Place your thumb in different positions at the back of the neck and see how that goes. My thumb is generally pressed against the oopposite side of my Index / Pointer finger.[br][br]If you really cant figure it out, post a video here and im sure someone can help.[br][br]There will always be road blocks, but you can drive straight through them :D[br][br]Good Luck!

If you enjoy playing the guitar then you shouldn't quit over the bar chords IMO. It's true that bar chords open a lot more options but I would suggest it's not required learning to have fun and enjoy playing guitar. You can play a number of songs with open chords and power chords and have a lot of fun doing so, and there are scales and lead riffs to learn and enjoy as well.

The question is do you enjoy playing and learning the guitar outside of the challenge with bar chords? If so then don't let the bar chords ruin it for you. Perfect the open chords and scales and maybe the bar chords will come later.

I'll go a different direction; a tale of two guitarists. And there will be an actual point here.

On the left is Ric Ocasek doing a spectacular barre chord. In the right is Django Reinhardt, who physically could not make a barre chord. Ric had really long hands becuase he was really tall and his hands reflected this. Django lost the use of his ring finger and pinky due to a fire. Ric was a solid rhythm player and rarely played leads. Django was a beautifully skilled player with a great sense of melody and mighty good technique.

You might already see the point here but I'll still state it; if you enjoy playing any instrument it might not be a matter of how perfect you can play but if you can find a way to enjoy playing with the abilities you do have.

Ric's physicality probably would have allowed him to play anything he chose. Django could not but what he did play was amazing.

The folks here all made great points and all are very true. I wanted to add that the joy is not the perfection in skills but the music you play.

I clearly don't make a perfect barre chord. I never have. I do them when I need to but I have reasonably average sized hands and barre chords that ring out from top to bottom are not exactly my core strength.

As a matter of fact, barre chords are one of the biggest complaints for most guitar players.

You're joining a long and illustrious list of players. Most don't find it easy unless you have Ric Okasek hands. A whole lotta players cheat. That's why you find a lot of rock players opt for the 'power chord' barre chord. I cheat like heck with that chord. Why not if it works in the context I need it.

If barre chords are killin' ya, move on to something else. Doing a song that uses barre chords? See if you can't get away with using a barre chord.

I can't reiterate enough that it is so much more about enjoying playing and less about perfection. Sure, if you stick with guitar, you'll always want to work on barre chords and over time get better. I've been playing for 35+ years, am pretty good and I, to repeat, don't like barre chords much.

Neither you and I are Ric Ocasek but if Django can find a way, so can I.

Something to think about.

When I get in a rut I move on to something else and come back to it later. This really helps a lot. I always tell myself: Try and you might fail, quit and you will definitely fail. :) You can do it!

Please stick with it. Guitar is so much more than barr chords. Move on to something else or learn different inversions. Remember, guitar is a means of expression and helps you tell a story. Barr chords are 1 percent of that.

I Agree with everyone else. Don't give up.. barre chords are such a tiny part of the experience... I struggle alot too, but even when I play lousy it still relaxes me and helps with muscle memory and the old noggin memory too. I got frustrated years ago and didn't pick it up for a very long time. I'm now 61 and started playing again about a year ago... keep at it...We can do it!

Guitar playing is not for everyone. Maybe you should think about quitting and purssuiing something you might enjoy more.

If I can pass along any advice...

I'm not great at guitar but I've found it soothing to play. That's why I like it. I kind of forget about the bad day I've been having, and just enjoy it for what it is.

I'm not great at Barre chords either although I've learnt to be able to do it somewhat(The F Chord has become much easier for me) but my biggest struggle is the B chord when I have to crowd 3 fingers one to 2 strings so close together, I tend to do what I shouldn't right now and just use 2 fingers to cover all 3 strings and it works for now but eventually I'm going to have to either learn to barre those 3 strings along with the full barre 2 frets down or figure out a way to fit all 3 fingers on those 3 strings. However, it's ok cause I'm enjoying playing songs like To Be With You from Mr Big and while that tough chord is in there, I manage to mostly pull it off and when I don't, no one else is there to judge.

Originally Posted by: rash912

Amy,

obviously its up to you if you decided you want to quit guitar, but come up with another reason, like guitar makes you want to rob banks or something else, but don't accept that barre chords "beat" you..

There are cheats for barre chords, usually the performers you see aren't really using full barres, alot of the time, they themselves are using cheats, usually by leaving the hi E and/or the B string muted. In fact, in one of the lessons on this exact website, there is an instructer that says the exact same thing, because in a playing atomosphere, the top 2 strings (hi E and B) will have a tendenancy to "muddy" the sounds. Im not saying not to eventually learn how to barre all 5 or 6 strings so that all of the strings ring, but in the short term, focus on getting the bottom 3 or for 4 strings (E,A,D,G) to sound, and as you eventually build the strength in your hands move on to adding the B string to sound, give it a bit more time and move into the hi E. I very seldom use full barres.

Remember, guitar is a fun challenge.. if it were easy everyone would play. Barres are difficult for every player, i would expect "barre" non.(pun) You can do it, just learn them in a fashion that you can find comfort with... and don't put down that guitar.

Rash912, when I bought my guitar there was a seasoned pro in the showroom that I was chatting with...he was explaining to me about "Voices". how you can acheive the same should by using different fingerings... is that what you are essentially saying? Instructors, can you chime in on my question?[br]

Amy, I am just starting out, but what Rash says might be a solution... I am also learning piano... in Piano, you have to move your hand from one part of the keyboard to another part...there are some textbook ways but at times I use other ways to get my hand to where it needs to be... so in the end, the song sounds just fine no matter how I got my hand to that section. Hope that helps from afar :D

Originally Posted by: VulcanCCIT

Originally Posted by: rash912

Amy,

obviously its up to you if you decided you want to quit guitar, but come up with another reason, like guitar makes you want to rob banks or something else, but don't accept that barre chords "beat" you..

There are cheats for barre chords, usually the performers you see aren't really using full barres, alot of the time, they themselves are using cheats, usually by leaving the hi E and/or the B string muted. In fact, in one of the lessons on this exact website, there is an instructer that says the exact same thing, because in a playing atomosphere, the top 2 strings (hi E and B) will have a tendenancy to "muddy" the sounds. Im not saying not to eventually learn how to barre all 5 or 6 strings so that all of the strings ring, but in the short term, focus on getting the bottom 3 or for 4 strings (E,A,D,G) to sound, and as you eventually build the strength in your hands move on to adding the B string to sound, give it a bit more time and move into the hi E. I very seldom use full barres.

Remember, guitar is a fun challenge.. if it were easy everyone would play. Barres are difficult for every player, i would expect "barre" non.(pun) You can do it, just learn them in a fashion that you can find comfort with... and don't put down that guitar.

Rash912, when I bought my guitar there was a seasoned pro in the showroom that I was chatting with...he was explaining to me about "Voices". how you can acheive the same should by using different fingerings... is that what you are essentially saying? Instructors, can you chime in on my question?

Amy, I am just starting out, but what Rash says might be a solution... I am also learning piano... in Piano, you have to move your hand from one part of the keyboard to another part...there are some textbook ways but at times I use other ways to get my hand to where it needs to be... so in the end, the song sounds just fine no matter how I got my hand to that section. Hope that helps from afar :D

They were referring to chord voicings. yes, you can use different voicings to achieve different results.

As we are learning, we want to do everything right and not develop any bad habits. Using "cheats", just by the nature of the word, seems like a shortcut and likely a bad habit. In the case of barre chords, its actually the opposite.

A key thing to realize is that we don't have to use all 6 strings in every chord. For a major or minor chords, you only need 3...the definition of a triad! If you look at open and barre chords, there are actually inversions (different voicings) within the chord because some of the notes are repeated. Open G has 2 B notes in it. For a valid G chord, you only need one G, one B, and one D note. The same note in different octaves will make the chord sound fuller, but that's not always required.

So, if we only need 3 notes out of the chord, we only need to strum 3 of the strings. It's extra and unnecessary work to fret strings that we aren't going to strum.

So, in many cases, playing a full barre chord creates exta and unnecessary work.

For instance, the open D chord isn't usually thought of as a barre chord shape or a moveable chord shape. It is though. Slide it up two frets, only strum the strings you are fretting and you have a perfectly valid E chord. Listen to how it sounds different from the typical open E. These are different voicings of the same chord.

Open G as a barre chord seems impossible and ridiculous. If you take only the 3 treble strings, suddenly it's very doeable.

Regularly I use the F chord shape in place of the E based barre chord and the B chord shape in place of the A based barre chord. When playing 3 sets of music in an evening, my hand would be cramped into a knot if I played full barre chords all night. I suspect that would happen to most anybody.

Are you using an electric guitar? Have you had it 'set up' at your local guitar store? If you're trying to learn barre chords on an acoustic, fo-get about it, you need to learn on electric. If you're using a used or older electric, you may find that getting a 'set up' done at your local guitar store will put the strings closer to the fret board and make barre chords easier.

Go to a big guitar store with lots of selections for electric guitars - the necks are all different shapes and sizes - try them all and get some advice from the pros at the store on the best neck for your fingers.

I just started, total beginner.I suck..lol..but I enjoy it..every note that doesnt elicit a reply from my cats is a victory.Stick with it.you will regret if you dont.Trust me..

I think you need to find the correct guitar for you. I tryed alot of guitars before i decided. Im a newbie so take my word for what it is worth. I first wanted a fender but i just couldent come with terms on that neckprofile that dont fit my hand at all. Same thing with almost every brand i tryed the neck profiles just dident feeled good in my hand. Finally i tryed Ibanez and there i finded a neck that is just perfect for me. My conclusion is what i said in begining of this post you might yet not have finded the correct guitar for you?